Friday, February 25, 2011

Two And a Half Men Cancelled - Rejoice!

Mind you, it's only cancelled for this season, but hell I haven't been this happy since I caught that little Vietnamese kid wandering off my property in the middle of the night. Note to self: stop naming your prisoners nouns, stick to numbers!

Anywho, excitement is contained herein:
As Two And A Half Men star Charlie Sheen's erratic behavior escalated today in a series of verbal assaults on the show's co-creator-executive producer Chuck Lorre, the sitcom's network and studio did the only thing they could in the situation: pull the plug.  But they only did it for this season. (Two and a Half Men was scheduled to resume production on Monday for 4 more episodes). So the door is left open for a possible ninth season. "Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros TV have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season," the two companies said in a statement.
Then the article goes on to recount his incidents involving some dopey hooker/porn star, his drugs and violence and overall downward spiral. That's right baby, downward spiral; the two magic words every culture-icon hater like myself loves to hear. It has such a devilish ring in it: downward spiral.

If you've never seen Two And a Half Stupid Douchebags before, it stars Jon Cryer (who?) and Charlie Sheen (who?) and some fat kid and -

Look, I really don't feel like explaining what the premise of this aggressively mediocre show is, so I'll explain the humor to you in a series of pictures that only you can relate to - because you're an idiot:






Ugh. You get the fucking picture. A platoon of writers couldn't save this show (see also: SNL). And by "save" I mean shit-can. For once I can actually thank Charlie Sheen for something rather than looking to his father to somehow redeem him. How can a talented actor spawn such a massive pile of diarrhea? It's like Martin Sheen's wife had Emilio out of the womb and Charlie out of the asshole. Anyway, let's keep our fingers crossed that Jon Cryer shrinks back into obscurity, Charlie Sheen has a thrombotic heart attack, and I finally get into the business of white slavery. I'm thinking I have a unique perspective!


7 comments:

  1. A platoon of writers couldn't save this show

    A platoon of writers

    A platoon

    platoon

    I HATE YOU.

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  2. Heh, thanks fellas. Time for some gin!

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  3. I can't say I blame Sheen for ever doing that show. He's the (or was the) highest paid actor on TV, making like $1.2 million an episode to play HIMSELF. He didn't even have to act!

    I caught a second of the last new episode that aired, and ho-mg, Sheen even looked like a drug addict. He was all skinny and sickly looking. So I guess that's one negative to the show being canceled. But to combat that, we get him talking about his fire shooting fists and Major League 3 (which was already made...)!

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  5. Don't get me wrong, if someone offered me that kinda cash to act like myself, I'd take it. But everyone credits the role like it's his magnum opus, and it casts a larger shadow over his father's work which is far superior.

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  6. Yeah, I don't get it. At least Sheen realizes that the show is a piece of shit:

    "There are some talks about a thing that would give me the freedom to do something beyond the drivel that is this, I don’t know, this pukefest [Two And A Half Men] that everybody worships. I don’t know. I’m like, ‘Wow. That was another bad joke!’”

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